Iris Classon
- CATALOG -
Iris Classon - In Love with Code

Return and recovery

It was my dad that convinced me to start my web server again, and enable the social media accounts that hadn’t been deleted during the mandatory (?) 30 day wait. I actually had no idea that he was reading my blog, but somewhere between the many code snippets, tutorials and videos I had shared my journey from my first ‘Hello World!’ to the last post written a few hours before I was rushed to the hospital and radio silence followed before all my accounts were removed.

For days I’ve thought about what to write and how to write it knowing well that every word, sentence and post would be criticized and be around forever- caught and cached. However, this post is for you, a person that wondered, worried, cared, then or now. I was aware of the many tweets, skypes, calls and emails once I regained consciousness, my parents told me. I wanted to reply to you, but I just couldn’t. I needed to be forgotten, and fight on my own.

Lying on my back outside, trying to grab a few rays of sun before the storm rolls in. Accompanied by my wheely friend Mr. IV

It hadn’t been a secret that my health had declined over the last year or so, and endless visits, rays and blood tests later I wasn’t any closer to knowing what was going on. Besides the physical problems it was slowly peeling away what I had built up and so carefully layered. Composure, happiness, faith, me. It’s such a slow process you hardly even notice, only when it’s too late you realize you don’t know the person looking back at you in the mirror. 95 pounds, tired beyond belief, empty and weak. If I’m not me, then who resides in this body? And where did I go? I had always thought I would know when I was working on a depression, but the physical problems masked it so well, and denial is such a convenience.

Things started falling apart, and I know I changed and you probably noticed and even tried to warn me or reach out early on. Jobs ended, sessions turned bad, builds broke, economy went red, always late, always tired. I couldn’t keep it together. I was raw, layers peeled. Not much was needed to dent it, or break it. But then ‘much’ happened. Not ‘little’, but much.

I broke, mind and body. But my body breaking first is what saved my life. Not really drinking, never taken any drugs, not on any meds or herbal remedies, had my hep vaccines on regular basis, liver failure was never on my mind. The doctor had once mentioned that the liver tests were a bit of, and he had to retake them. I was scheduled to take do so a few weeks later but never made it, instead a week later rushed to the hospital unconscious with a failing liver.

A failing liver will give you pretty legs like this, lovely swollen, impressive poor wound heeling and coagulation, itchiness that drives you insane and more.

Over the week I was hospitalized the aspartate aminotransferase (ASA) shot from 600 to 5000, and all the other values followed. I was on monitored IV 24/7, and blood samples taken 4-5 at the time 3 times a day. Every day they said it should get better tomorrow, only to get surprised that the values got worse. At this point a liver transplant was a very real possibility, and I discussed with a dietitian having a gastrojejunal feeding tube* inserted if my weight didn’t improve since my BMI was 16.8.

After the machine failed and triggered the alarm for the tenth time in a row I ‘hacked’ it and was able to re-wire to the second one, restart or pause. Who made this system? Buggy as hell.

A phycologist and psychologist team (I had interestingly enough only female nurses and doctors besides a male paramedic nurse) would come and visit daily, but I refused any medication at any level worried about it masking symptoms or possibly worsen the state of my inflamed liver. I force fed myself, drinking those awful energy dense drinks I had so easily served geriatric patients five years earlier when I was working as a dietitian myself. Dad flew over (my grandmother suffered some heart problems during this period and mum had to go to Romania, and I refused to let her fly home). We walked, talked, and I picked flowers. And he convinced me to try to eat a pulled pork hamburger.

Dad wanted a pretty picture so he could send some evidence to convince mum not to head home and stay and take care of her mum in Romania. Notice what I was spooning at night :)

I don’t know how, but somehow I slowly recovered enough to be an out-patient and therefore head home to Sweden. I signed myself out of the hospital against recommendations, knowing that I would be able to eat and sleep better at home and promising to get blood tests done first thing in the morning at the hospital. At this point I was able to stay awake a few hours at the time and walk longer distances unassisted so I decided this was the right thing for me to do and that I could make the journey home by buss. That Thursday evening at 8PM I took the buss home, and endured a sleepless night questioning my decision.

The hospital was amazing, and fantastic staff. But hospitals still creep me out and I can’t stand the smell. This hallway gave me the creeps (beds made for new arrivals- everybody had a room)

First thing in the morning two of my bosses/line manager knocked on my door and we had a longer conversation. Stupidly enough I agreed to work, and deliver my deliverables over the next few days. I couldn’t code, stay awake, eat, or stop crying and intermittently vomiting. Blood tests on the Monday, I still hadn’t been able to work. What can be classified as a full on mental breakdown occurred in the doctor’s office at the mention of liver transplant (not that one was needed, just that if my values turned that would be our next aim). My first thought was ‘how on earth am I going to be able to deploy?’ and then I suddenly realized how messed up my thinking was. My escapism,- work. Using and abusing my passion for coding to avoid thinking and feeling. He had not expected such a show when a baby blue haired girl in a white summer dress and heels came in sipping on a meal replacement drink. I left with a few weeks of work to recover (he wanted me to take a month or more, I said let’s start with two weeks) and an appointment to see my doctor for pancreatic tests and checking my blood clotting factors (which were improving but still a problem), feeding tube discussions but most important to finally consider options to manage my depression.

Recovering. A weekend visit to my parents in Stavanger (Norway). I got to spend some much needed time with two of the people I love the most in the whole world (my sister is of course one of those)- mum and dad. Stavanger is perfect for relaxing, beautiful and pretty much nothing to do there on weekends since everything shuts down.

Since then I’ve taken time to recover, and come to terms with the fact that I need to find myself, and treat her better. I’ve also had to come to terms with becoming unemployed. Still being under my work probation period my absence and lack of delivery the last few months meant they had no choice but to let me go as my skills could not be evaluated for long term employment and Swedish laws do not allow probation periods to be extended.

But.

Let’s end this sad story.

It’s in reality a happy story in disguise.

My values are within normal range, I’m eating on regular basis and I have even gained a tiny bit of weight, the majority of the symptoms I have had for almost a year have virtually been non-existing since the values went down. I’ve been hired for two large projects for the club and restaurant industry in a few weeks, and I’ve finally signed up for Math C & D, Physics I & II – a step in the direction of getting a grad degree as an engineer (slowly,- next to work J ).

Most important though, is that I’m smiling and laughing again. And I’ve found myself again, and I won’t let myself get lost again. And I’m sure you noticed my hair isn’t like this anymore:

No longer blue, mood or hair. I’ll keep the colors in my closet and syntax highlighting. I need to be me.

When we moved to Norway, escaping communism in Romania in 1989, we moved to a tiny town called Flekkefjord. We were pretty much the only foreigners there and I was heavily bullied. I won’t go into detail, but it was bad. I had long dark hair to my hips, and ‘the witch’ was what I was called due to my long raven hair and distinct nose. So as soon as I was ‘allowed’ to color my hair I chopped it off, and colored it orange/pink, got piercings, tattoos, started smoking and drinking (which I was shit at so that didn’t last long). If they wanted weird, I would give them weird- but on my terms. And for almost two decades I kept coloring my hair and caking on makeup, but frankly now I just want to look in the mirror and see myself and be proud of being me,- the way I am and the ways I am going to be. Piercings out, tattoos lazered of, face bare.

Mum wanted to practice dusk photography so i put on my new dress I had sewn earlier that day and we went for an easy hike in the night. She has gotten way better than me at photography and I’m envious and proud :) And yes, I’m back to my natural hair color for the first time since I was 13 + sans war paint (AKA makeup)

Because, I am the luckiest person in the world having people like you around, even if just over 140 chars online or late Skype calls across timezones, having found my biggest passion – programming, having a healthy and loving family and two awesome cats that eat mice and poop outside. I don’t need more, but I’ll reach for the stars regardless and I’ll keep sharing my journey and stories, good and bad, in-between our common passion,- that of logic, creativity, creation and world domination through code.

I’m going to reply *to every single one of you* that pinged me, but it’s going to take a week or two, if I haven’t please ping me again as I might not be able to recover my Twitter account etc. As I try to enable my accounts again so will the communication channels open again. But I believe I managed to tweet out my phone number so that is an option, just please remember I’m GMT +1 ;)

Lots of love <3 Thank you for being my heros, ladies and gentlemen.

 

*When studying dietetics (I’m a Lic. Clinical Dietitian) we had to try a feeding tube for a few days, and I got a bad reaction to the nasogastric tube so I knew that would not be an option.

 

Comments

Leave a comment (via email)
Bjørn Furuknap
7/28/2015 2:34:39 PM
This is, without a doubt, the happiest news I have heard in a long time. I am saddened to hear of your struggles but you should be proud that you have survived and you are stronger for it. Please take all the time you need to recover and know this: You are a stunning person whether in soul or appearance and the world needs people like you to be complete. 
Claus
7/28/2015 3:25:12 PM
Hi Iris, 

I have followed you since your blogpost about your first year of programming. I read your blog and follow you on twitter. 

I have never written to you, but I have been really nervous for you the last month, and I am really happy that you are doing better.  

You are a great inspiration to me and many other people :-) 
Caleb Jenkins
7/28/2015 4:30:34 PM
Welcome back Iris. Love the happy ending of this story, keep pushing to be you.. also, no war paint needed! :)  

Just know that tons of people are rooting for you, glad that you're healing and making your way back. 
Daniel Forster
7/28/2015 11:17:33 PM
It's great to see you smiling and back on your feet Iris. Still remember when I was going through hard times during our studies and you were there to cheer me up. Do take care of yourself now and keep in mind we only have one life to live. 
Julien
7/28/2015 11:50:17 PM
Happy to see you're getting well!

#WelcomeBackIris #FromFrance

Julien 
Peter Morlion
7/29/2015 12:42:52 AM
Glad you're back! You still look awesome, crazy hair or not, and I'm looking forward to any future posts. I'm glad to hear you still want to be coding. Will you still be a Pluralsight author? 
Richard B
7/29/2015 12:43:57 AM
So glad you are doing better, ease back into whatever you want to do slowly.  Brilliant that you hacked the hospital equipment to get it working - your talents are endless.

You are one of the bravest people I know, well I don't know you at all of course, but I love what you are doing.

Code happy.

Richard. 
Kristian
7/29/2015 1:03:24 AM
Great to read about your return to health! I was really concerned when I saw those tweets. Best of luck and take care... 
John
7/29/2015 1:03:53 AM
Welcome back and all the best to Iris 2.0 
Mark Lewin
7/29/2015 2:06:13 AM
Hey Iris,

Welcome back! I'm so pleased you're on the mend. 

But take it easy and LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. Coding will still be there when you are ready. :)

Mark 
Michael Lund
7/29/2015 2:49:49 AM
Hi iris,

I am really happy to know you are feeling better. Take your time, take care of yourself anddo what you love.

kind regards (and hugs ;-))
Michael 
Iris Classon
7/29/2015 3:25:11 AM
Reply to: Julien
Merci beaucoup! Il est bon d'être de retour et je suis tellement reconnaissante pour le merveilleux soutien de gens comme vous. 

J'aime la France!- A 16 ans je vivais à Moëlan-sur-Mer pour une courte période, mais mon français n'est pas bon (je suis Roumain) :S 
Jonas Drakforsen
7/29/2015 3:34:43 AM
Ive only had the pleasure of meeting you once, remembering how happy and full of energy you were back then. I hope you will heal from all of this and get back to shining up every room you walk into.
Best regards 
Ronny
7/29/2015 4:04:49 AM
Wonderful to hear from you and to read that things are getting better again Iris! Try to take things slow but I'm looking forward to see you rule the world!

Best regards from Gothenburg! <3 
Mikael Lundin
7/29/2015 4:24:02 AM
Glad to hear you're on the path to recovery. 
Ari Raimundo
7/29/2015 4:46:47 AM
Welcome back Iris. I'm happy for your recovery. 
Emmanuel
7/29/2015 5:09:42 AM
Hi Iris!
I think youre awesome! Get well and never stop being you. 
Tobias
7/29/2015 5:15:08 AM
Great to ser that you are doing well. Keep fighting. 
Derek Stutsman
7/29/2015 5:27:39 AM
Iris,

It is such a relief to see you back online and smiling!

Best wishes for continued recovery and following your dreams. 
Steve Crane
7/29/2015 5:40:42 AM
Glad to hear that you are on the mend. Funnily enough, just yesterday I thought of you and wondered how you were doing. 
Joaquim
7/29/2015 6:08:42 AM
Hi Iris glad to see u back on your feet.  Pass by our house any time u want, Vera constantly talks about u specially about the flower Iris she planted in honour of your friendship.  Good luck for all new adventures.

Take care

Jack 
Vera Aroca
7/29/2015 6:17:29 AM
Hi Iris,

Im so glad you are doing better, Ive thought about you so much lately. Please let me know when you are up for a chat.

xx 
John Bubriski
7/29/2015 6:18:12 AM
Really glad to hear you're feeling better! 
Patrik Dahlén
7/29/2015 6:22:34 AM
Welcome back to the world of the living!
So glad that you are doing better. Don't scare us like that again! ;)

/Patrik 
Kristian
7/29/2015 6:36:56 AM
Awesome to see that you are getting better! You really had us worried when you accounts were shut down... 
Lisa Larson-Kelley
7/29/2015 6:46:45 AM
So happy to see you healing and coming back to yourself. You are not alone! Please, please reach out to me anytime you want to talk. Sending you good, positive energy to keep moving forward, and blooming -- as your true self. 

in support,
// Lisa 
Julien
7/29/2015 6:57:02 AM
Votre français est très bon! :)

Recover well Iris! 
Iris Classon
7/29/2015 7:02:08 AM
Reply to: Julien
Merci beaucoup :D 
Robert
7/29/2015 7:22:51 AM
Amazing story! Hope you get better and that you stay that way! 
If you feel like getting a Harvard degree, their introduction to computer science (cs50) is free, and online. 
Mainly C code, so for someone who's use to C# and java, it was a bit... primitive. But very very useful! 

Check it out. :) 

Thanks for the read! 
Rick
7/29/2015 8:19:08 AM
Great to see you back in good spirits and health.  I'm looking forward to your future posts and tweets.

Rick 
Andrew Mallett
7/29/2015 8:23:16 AM
There is a lot of love for you being shared in the pluralsight authors community. It is great to see such a welcome smile 
Mike Robbins
7/29/2015 8:24:21 AM
So glad to see that you're doing better!  You've been quite the inspiration to me for the last year or so.  A lot of us missed you and your contributions to the dev community. 
Joseph
7/29/2015 8:35:41 AM
So glad to hear you're recovering! 
Q
7/29/2015 8:47:28 AM
Glad to hear it all worked out in the end! 
Mario
7/29/2015 9:08:40 AM
We Love you and support you, I'm really happy that you are back!

Anything you need we got your back.

#WelcomeBackIris #FromMexico 
Grant Winney
7/29/2015 9:19:15 AM
Glad to see you're up and around, enjoying some quality time with your family! Sounds like you've been doing some major soul-searching... thanks for sharing. Welcome back and good luck. :) 
NotMyself
7/29/2015 9:21:24 AM
Welcome back, Iris. Take care of yourself, we will be here whenever you are ready. 
Robert Ocasio
7/29/2015 9:42:36 AM
Please feel better!  Your health is more important than work - please remember that.  Don't overdo it!  I'm so glad you're feeling better.

- Robert (Brooklyn, NY) 
Pierre
7/29/2015 10:29:38 AM
I am happy to hear that you are back and getting better. I was checking your Twitter account regularly and was more worried each day  Et oui votre Français est très bon. #WelcomeBackIris #FromBelgium 
Michael
7/29/2015 11:41:16 AM
I don't think I've ever really commented on someone's blog post, and I have so few comments on Twitter that I am insignificant in the social media world, but I will say that I greatly missed reading your posts and comments.  You are one of the wittiest and smartest people around, and it would have been a great loss to everyone if the world lost you.

I've been in your position before, where my technological interests took priority over my health.  It's sometimes hard to keep the priorities straight, but I know that you will find a balance.

You are an inspiration to many people and I know that you will do well.  You already have. 
Jesse Houwing
7/29/2015 12:24:31 PM
Iris, it was a shock when Adam shared your sudden hospitalization. I have read your posts irregularly and hadn't noticed anything. Regardless I've always liked how you took your passion and followed it. And I love to read that you're on a path that allows you to keep doing it, and that you're able to be just yourself.

Best of luck and strength! 
Chris Kinsman
7/29/2015 12:26:15 PM
Welcome back!  Was worried when you dropped off the face of the planet... 
Nin
7/29/2015 12:32:58 PM
Yay :) I'm glad you're doing better and taking the time to discover how to be yourself and be happy too! 

All the best to you. 
Colin Mackay
7/29/2015 2:06:55 PM
I'm glad to see you are on the road to recovery. *hugs* xx 
Fabske
7/29/2015 2:16:51 PM
I often read your posts, never really commented or posted reply, but it was always interessant.

I wish you all the best in your 2nd life !

Don't try to be work hard too quickly, take time to completely recover ... Life is not working ...

Et en effet ton français a l'air excellent :-) 
Liz Quilty
7/29/2015 2:33:59 PM
Oh thank goodness you are OK, I was totally stressed or wondering what had happened, fearing the worst.
Stress and depression are the worst thing ever, I've dealt with it a lot, myself and family, and other health issues make it worse
Good to see you again 
Jen Stirrup
7/29/2015 2:48:19 PM
Hi,
I'm delighted to see you're back, Iris!
"And I’ve found myself again, and I won’t let myself get lost again" <- this 'you' is a gorgeous 'you', inside and out. I loved reading your story and I wish you the best of everything that's good.
I'm based in London now if you ever fancy a coffee (I'm a sql server mvp) and a chat; it will be nice to meet you in person.
Love,
Jen
@jenstirrup 
Dan Keller
7/29/2015 6:05:18 PM
I could never really relate to your blog, still read it,  kept it around. We've led different lives, different paths,technologies. But your latest post has inspired me to be a better person. Thank you. 

Become the phoenix and rise anew. 
Michaela
7/29/2015 7:43:28 PM
So happy you are on the mend. We missed you!

-Michaela 
Judah Gabriel Himango
7/29/2015 11:20:58 PM
Super glad to hear you're on the path to recovery. Be well, and keep kicking ass. 
Ian
7/30/2015 12:05:50 AM
Good to hear that you are on the mend - just remember to take baby steps, and don't worry about the occasional stumble until you are fully recovered. 
Jaime
7/30/2015 1:18:54 AM
really happy to know that you have recovered yourself !!! 
Chidi
7/30/2015 1:57:18 AM
Welcome back, Glad to have you back!!! 
Adam SP (AUS)
7/30/2015 4:12:37 AM
So glad to hear that you are recovering Iris!!!

As someone with depression and body dimorphia, I understand how easy it is to find ways to ignore who you are or have become. I have no idea what you have had to go through, but it is so good that you are back :D

I look forward to our mini-Twitter chats again!

Adam (@SmithPlatts 
Stanley
7/30/2015 6:07:22 AM
I am happy to see you are getting better. Please make sure to take care of yourself. I say that as a selfish request as I have enjoyed reading your rise from dietitian to a great programmer. I have followed you since your first post on your blog (cannot remember just how I found your blog though) and will keep following you.
 Learning to deal with the stress can be rough for many of us. I myself ended up in the hospital with pneumonia recently and since I also complained about chest pains, they ran a bunch of tests on me for my heart.Turns out at some point I have had a heart attack and damaged the right side of my heart. So I know from personal experience that over any coding or deadlines, you must take care of yourself. Get better and stay that way please, you are a great example of what someone can achieve if they just put their mind to it. 
Mordy
7/30/2015 7:24:53 AM
We never spoke Iris but I followed your technical posts with interest, you were one of few that were following the same learning curve as me.  Really sorry to hear that you've had such a rough time but glad you seem to be turning things around. 
Emiliano
7/30/2015 7:48:11 AM
Cerca di rimetterti presto, leggo spesso i tuoi articoli ... sei una gran bella persona. 
Hassan
7/30/2015 8:20:36 AM
Happy and relieved you're feeling much better.
Welcome back. 
Josh
7/30/2015 8:54:27 AM
Glad you are on the road to recovery. 

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we know who we really are. I know... I've been there.

Happy coding :)

Psalm 139:14 
Mike C
7/30/2015 10:26:31 AM
Welcome back! 
Peter
7/30/2015 10:51:46 AM
Insanatosire grabnica! Mai lasa munca deoparte, nu se duce nicaieri :) N-am stiut ca esti din Romania; salutari de peste ocean. 
Shane Church
7/30/2015 10:58:23 AM
I'm so glad to see you're back healthy again! 
Jessee
7/30/2015 11:37:20 AM
I am so happy to hear you are doing better! Stay well :) 
Boris Modylevsky
7/30/2015 3:39:02 PM
I am glad you're back. Take care for yourself. There is a Russian proverb "Work is not a wolf - it won't escape to forest".  The meaning is, that work can wait. 
Tweedeldee
7/31/2015 3:35:00 AM
Welcome back, and glad to finally see "you". =)

Et votre francais reste très bon quand même! 
Filip
7/31/2015 3:45:23 AM
Even though I don't know you personally, this blog post has so far been the highlight of my day. 

I once attended a session from you when you were in Belgium, and really enjoyed your energy and the way you attacked new technology with your unconventional background (it not being IT).

Been following your blog and Twitter to remind me that nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it. And although I was very worried you might not make it, somehow I knew that an inspirational character like yourself would pull through eventually.


Well done on yourself ;) And welcome back. Looking forward once again to the stuff you put out there.

Wishing you the best,
Filip 
Constantinos
7/31/2015 6:35:00 AM
Wish you a speedy recovery! Happy to see you active again! Be strong! 
micka39
7/31/2015 6:36:21 AM
Very happy to see that you are getting better  .

Good luck for your recovering 

As Julien says your French is very good ! 
Jens Christian Rasch
7/31/2015 3:13:27 PM
So good to see signs of life from you. Never forget yourself even though it is so much easier to submerge one self in work.

Get well soon and look forward to more blog posts from you in the future :) 
Raphaël Godart
7/31/2015 3:16:18 PM
I'm so glad to see you're better. Welcome back! (I kept hoping to see some light during the blackout)

Raphaël (a fellow developer from Belgium) 
jgauffin
8/1/2015 5:09:39 AM
I'm really glad to see that you are doing better and that you are focusing on just being you. We need more girls like you.

I know how being bullied can affect you a long time after it stopped even it you don't realize it at first. 
Allaert
8/1/2015 7:39:53 AM
You have touched the lives of many, including me. I was so glad to read you are doing better. Remember you are awesome the way you are :) Positive thoughts flowing your way!

btw love the hair! 
Andrea
8/1/2015 10:34:57 AM
I am so happy to read a post of yours again! Hold on Iris, you are not alone.
Cheers from Italy! ;-) 
Jeremy
8/1/2015 2:59:33 PM
I am so glad you are recovering Iris. I don't know you personally, but I was definitely touched by your story. Being the father of a daughter who struggles with eating issues, it felt close to home. I wish you all the best for your future...

Kind regards

Jeremy 
Daniel
8/2/2015 11:04:56 PM
Nice to see you "up and running" again! Me and my girlfriend have been through a similar situation about 1 year ago and it's been a very hard period for us but things are getting better and better just be close to people who *really* care about you and hang in there! 
Peter
8/3/2015 1:34:51 AM
Wow! What a story!
I never knew you, stumbled on to your Twitter account by accident, but I am glad for you that you are recovering!
Stay safe and healthy and lots of fun with programming, your family, and your awesome, mice eating, outside pooping cats :-)

_\\//  Live long and prosper!  \\//_

Peter
Just another programmer! 
Alex
8/3/2015 1:53:06 AM
Glad to see you're fighting your way back. I wish you all the best for your recovery ... and a lot of good food to eat :-)

Cheers, Alex 
Peter
8/3/2015 2:30:32 AM
Skönt att höra om ditt tillfrisknande Iris. WB! :-) 
Jake
8/3/2015 4:37:49 AM
Welcome Back! 
Swalesy
8/3/2015 5:26:25 AM
I am so pleased to read this and that everything is improving! Its a crazy journey this life, you never know what it's going to throw at you, the only thing that really matters is happiness. I wish you all the best. Stay awesome 
Andrei Rînea
8/3/2015 12:54:57 PM
Welcome back and may God recover you soon and well! :)

Happy to hear good news!

Warm greetings from Romania!

Multă sănătate și toate bune! 
Marco
8/4/2015 4:22:00 AM
Good to see you up and running again! Most important thing is to believe in yourself:-) 
Joel
8/4/2015 4:59:43 AM
Hey,

Great to hear you are recovering now. Sounds like you've had a really rough time of it. 

You're evidently mindful of how your story will be perceived... The fact is depression happens occasionally and it's not like you chose for it to happen. 

Wisdom in hindsight is relatively easy and there will doubtless be critics who choose to lord that over you. They are in the minority though. The overwhelming majority of us are in fact rooting for you!

Best wishes for your continuing journey.

Joel 
Scott R. Plaumann
8/4/2015 2:11:39 PM
Keep your "self" well first, then, fight the good fight.
Coding is a mantra, deep meditation.
I started my journey coding around 1980.
Take care,
of yourself,
so you can keep taking care of others. 
ficklampa
8/4/2015 2:25:48 PM
Glad to hear that you're getting better. I was super worried, and it didn't help that all your accounts and blog went down without info. Totally understandable! 
 If you need to talk, hug, whatever, ping me and I'll see what I can do.

Love,
Andreas 
Nigel
8/5/2015 12:57:34 AM
Good to see you getting well.  Welcome back :) 
Jelte
8/5/2015 2:35:54 AM
What a breathtaking life story, 

You really are an amazing person, and what a great parents you have!

You are truly loved! 
Thomas L McGrath
8/5/2015 7:47:20 AM
I am so glad to see you back.  When your site went dark, I was seriously concerned.  May your recovery lead to many years of health and happiness. 
Becky Fritz
8/5/2015 10:09:18 AM
We have never met, but you know my husband, Jeff Fritz. Jeff and I have been keeping you in our thoughts and prayers (as have our 2 daughters who have ALWAYS thought you are AMAZING!) I am so grateful to see you are not only healing, but that you are rediscovering the amazing person you must be!

You look absolutely stunning in the dusk photo your mom took. You look so peaceful and full of grace in that shot. I hope that is a feeling you carry with you for all of your days. 

-Mrs. C#Fritz 
Duncan
8/5/2015 2:58:40 PM
Iris, 

Welcome back, glad to see you are on the mend. 


:) 
Erik
8/5/2015 4:56:35 PM
Great to see you back. Get well soon and hope you have a speedy recovery!

Erik from San Francisco 
robert
8/5/2015 8:22:35 PM
Hi,

I'm very happy you are alive & well. I found out about you in the past few months, and checked out your videos, blogs, etc.
You've been an inspiration for me in my own studies.
It was through eLearning courses and PluralSight that I found your study group meeting video on YouTube.
It gave me the idea to setup a sharepoint website & try to start a study group at my work.
Your beauty & knowledge inspires others, thank you.
Keep your health up, I wish you well in your journey. 
Tasos
8/6/2015 1:24:13 AM
Welcome back Iris :) Get well soon! 
Deani Hansen
8/6/2015 8:31:30 AM
Thankfully you're well and back on track!! 
We haven't meet, but I saw you on build a few years ago and have been following your blog for a while. Saw your sad blogpost some time ago, and been thinking about it ever since.. If you're were making it. How you were... and now I'm just really happy that you make it alright!! Glad to see you recovering so well. Stay strong!  
All the best wishes now and in the future!! 
Deani 
Estuardo
8/6/2015 9:25:15 AM
I am happy to hear from you.  (♥_♥)

Greetings from Guatemala, Central America. 
khathu
8/7/2015 12:10:04 AM
Wow! What a ride! I have been building software for a while and I had started getting a bit bored with the trade. When I discovered your blog and your work I was amazed.

I have been so inspired by your journey and I am thrilled that you are feeling much better! Wishing you nothing but joy.

Much respect from sunny South Africa! 
Dyson
8/8/2015 10:52:30 AM
Iris Classon Return and recovery - It was my dad that convinced me to start my web server again, and enable the social media accounts that . 
Don Schenck
8/8/2015 2:58:39 PM
Take your time, focus on yourself and your wellbeing ... get well. Wholly well; We'll wait.

You look beautiful, and your story is that of an inner beauty that can't be masked.

All The Best,

-- Don 
givarg
8/9/2015 2:15:37 AM
God bedring IRIS du er den vakreste blant alla programistar!) 
Fredrik Olsson
8/10/2015 11:59:32 AM
I'm glad to see you are okay and on your way back!

You're awesome and a great inspiration! 
gabo
8/10/2015 3:23:26 PM
Glad you're recovering, hope you get back on track soon.
Take care Iris. 
Dyson
8/11/2015 3:33:08 AM
Since this week Windows Azure Recovery Services have been put in preview modus. TechMike2KX s Blog Iris Classon Alexander Vanwynsberghe The . 
Luke McGregor
8/11/2015 4:00:49 AM
Awesome to hear you are doing better, speedy recoveries. 
Rob Collett
8/11/2015 6:43:01 AM
So glad you're feeling somewhat better!

All the best from the UK!

:)

Rob 
Brian
8/11/2015 10:22:50 AM
I'm happy to hear you are doing better. 
Sam Fisher
8/11/2015 4:14:21 PM
OMG Iris it is so great to see you better and happy!!

I wrote you a thing on twitter but I've always been a big fan of yours, you have an awesomely positive attitude and passion that is so rare to find, and didn't even yell at me when I directed you to horrible video capture software :)

Can't wait to see what you do next, I know you and it will be great! 
DeWitte
8/12/2015 7:01:52 AM
Welcome back!   I'm glad you are better. 
Nastia
8/12/2015 1:32:25 PM
Iris, you're a beautiful person. Also, thanks for contributing to Pluralsight. Learning to code here. 
Tore Aurstad
8/13/2015 9:10:25 AM
God bedring, Iris! 
Recover well, Iris! 
Will
8/13/2015 12:04:26 PM
Great to see that you're on the mend.
Pace yourself, and take your time. You can achieve anything, just don't try to do it all at once.  :) 
T C
8/13/2015 2:41:16 PM
It's wonderful to see that you are doing better. You look great without the colors, tattoos, and makeup. In fact, I'd say you look extraordinarily beautiful. Working on a degree is a worthwhile endeavor and you won't regret the accomplishment. I wish you a long and happy life fulfilling your greatest dreams and aspirations. 
Willem Meints
8/14/2015 4:56:09 AM
Good to hear you're back to your new self :-)
Yes, that "new" is on purpose. I hope to read many more good blogposts about your adventures. 
Michael
8/14/2015 1:55:21 PM
Thrilled your back!  My best wishes, Iris. 
Oliver
8/15/2015 12:21:48 AM
I am really happy that you are getting better.

I followed your journey since that podcast with Scott Hanselman and was always fascinated with your passion and energy that you put in your projects and life in general.
I hope you will regain that energy and I wish you all the best on your journey ahead.

Greetings from Lausanne,
Oliver 
sacha barber
8/16/2015 12:36:28 AM
Glad you are on the mend 
Simon C
8/18/2015 1:01:27 PM
So happy to see you back on form Iris. Keep up the positive attitude - seeing this side of you is really refreshing :) 
Graham Lee
8/19/2015 8:36:30 AM
I was worried when I checked in to twitter to see that you hadn't posted in ages and that the last post in your timeline mentioned you'd been in hospital :(. I'm very happy now to see that you're back, recovering and that you're looking after yourself ahead of your work. I wish you a great time full of the things you enjoy. 
Aaron Holt
8/20/2015 2:24:59 AM
I was saddened to hear of your troubles Iris and couldn't be happier to hear you're in a better place, physically and mentally.

I admire your strength and candour, especially coming back in the way you have.

Enjoy Corfu - I love that place, worked there for 2 summers.

I look forward to catching up the next time we meet.

Take care of yourself

Aaron 
Jeff Morris
8/20/2015 2:26:16 PM
Nice to have you back; get better! 
Chandu
9/21/2015 9:18:50 AM
Iris,
Am glad you are back.
I wish you all the best... 
Jide
8/22/2015 1:38:49 AM
Hi Iris,

I'm so glad to see you are on your way to full recovery.

I found your site about 3-4 months ago,  and you were doing some kind of wind down based on the illness.Things looked really bleak but at the same time it was so inspiring how you found the strength to keep plugging on despite the ill health. I prayed for you to recover and be healed completely.

Thank God. You are getting better and by God's infinite grace your healing will be complete and permanent, in body, mind and spirit.

Please take your time to recover. Your natural look is so beautiful and brings out your natural strength. I guess that was probably what was so striking about your previous look, in that it looked really fickle and flimsy but closer inspection revealed someone much deeper and stronger. Your natural look does the opposite it doesn't hide but shows your strength and character from the get go.

Please forget about work and all that pressure for now and gain your strength back first. Wait to become solid first before stretching again. Don't stretch while in a semi-plastic state. You are definitely on your way to FULL recovery. Many people have check out from a simple cough or sneeze which due to some inexplicable coincidence burst some blood vessels in their brain. Only the living are happy, can work, can code, can praise God. The fact that you are alive and are beating this illness means God still has a lot for you to do. Please take a break. You will not starve or lose you value. In fact this time out gives you more quiet time to dedicate to an area(s) of interest and get really deep into it which would not be possible when you are on the clock trying to meet work deadlines.

I'm so happy for you and your entire family. They are really blessed and I'm sure they have been praying for you too.

Sorry for rambling so long, but I'm so happy to see you again.

Above all give thanks to God at all times and for all things.

BTW: I'm a software developer in Nigeria.

Jide Ogundipe 
Krisztina
9/20/2015 1:47:41 PM
our common passion,- that of logic, creativity, creation and world domination through code. Thank you for not giving up. 
Thank you for writing what I'm thinking. 
Jason Olson
8/23/2015 6:41:07 PM
Iris, we've never met in person, but we have several friends in common. I've been following your journey from afar and it's been truly inspiring to see your energy and love for programming. I'm so incredibly happy to hear how you are recovering now and doing better. In many ways, your energy is infectious and shines a light in this community. 

I'm sure this was a tough post to write. I understand the battling depression issue and not recognizing yourself. My issue is on the other end of the spectrum of being overweight and living unhealthy that way. When I first heard the news about you, I immediately reached out to Richard Campbell to see if there was anything I could help with. He assured me you were in good hands and I'm glad to see that was the case. 

Long story short, keep embracing yourself. No matter how you may feel about yourself at times, you've impacted so many lives in such a positive way. The development world needs more people like you with your attitude and love for programming. 

So, from a stranger who's trying his best not to sound creepy or sappy, welcome back!!! It's great news to hear :D. 
Asad
8/24/2015 6:34:16 AM
Good to have you back 
WhiteLion
8/26/2015 2:53:53 AM
Hope you get back in health as soon as possible, and wishing you the best of courage to get over this very difficult life stage. 
There are many people inspired by you, not necessarily manifesting their presence, but your example can be a source of light, so keep sharing and keep fighting, as you are strong enough to win this struggle and get back to your dreams!
All the best! 
Ryan McDonough
8/26/2015 4:27:59 AM
Glad you're back :) 
Ryan McDonough
8/26/2015 4:28:48 AM
Glad you're back and feeling better! 
Simon Justesen
8/28/2015 12:02:54 PM
Whoa - wild ride! 
Such a relief to see you being alive and kicking, Iris! Thank you for sharing your experiences. It takes serious guts to do so, and I think you're awesome!

Have a nice _relaxing_ weekend :) 
Charles
9/4/2015 1:54:39 AM
OMG! What a terrible journey you have been on, and what an excellent blog post. So glad you have come out the other side of it. I am shocked that the people you worked for were still pushing you to work during this time, I know we all need to earn money, but our health must always come first, and that of employees too.

Charles 
Lyonel
9/4/2015 2:28:53 PM
Hi Iris,

It is the first time I contact you, and I am sorry I did not earlier. But after your last post before your 'break', I realised how much I was hooked to your blog. And the idea of you not being around anymore felt like a real loss. Having no news from you was also scary. So when I came across a tweet from you tonight, I was like 'No way! She's back!!!' I am glad you shared you're story with us. And even more glad that your passion for coding is still intact! I am looking forward to your next challenges, tips, tricks, discoveries and stories. But overall, I wish you all the best and thank you for being back. And thanks to your dad too for getting you back online. Take care of yourself. Looking forward to reading your posts. XX 
Rob Tingay
9/6/2015 1:06:40 PM
So glad you're back! Really, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. We missed you. I wish you all the very best 
Patrick Smacchia
9/14/2015 9:25:09 AM
Welcome back Iris, glad to see you are recovering!

Btw, Stavanger is a pretty great place to enjoy weekend actually :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO5BHQw4sDY 


Last modified on 2015-07-28